Dear Bobbie

Dear Bobbie, do you remember
When you were young and very pretty? I do
I remember pleated skirts, black and white saddle shoes
Do you remember dancing that night? I do
I still think of you when we dance
Although we cant jitterbug as we did then}

Do you remember when
How long has it been?
Nineteen forty five
You opened my blue eyes
To see a whole new life

Do you remember when
I told you this that night
That if you're by my side
When everyday begins
I'll fall for you again?
I made a promise when
I told you this that night

That I'll be fine
Cause when I die then I die loving you
It's alright, I'll be fine
When I die then I die loving you
Loving you, loving you

{Do you remember the times
We would give up on each other and get back together
Then we finally was married in nineteen forty nine
We drove the yellow convertible all night long
Do you remember? I do}

Life has led us here
Together all these years
This house that we have made
Holds twenty-thousand days
And memories we've saved
Since life has lead us here

And I'll be fine
Cause when I die then I die loving you
It's alright, I'll be fine
Cause when I die then I die loving you
Loving you, loving you

I'm coming home to you
Stepping off my shoes
Resting in my chair
See you standing there
The silver in your hair
I'm coming home to you

When I lay tonight
When I close my eyes
I know the sun will rise
Here or the next life
As long as youre still mine

Then it's alright, I'll be fine
Cause when I die then I die loving you
It's alright, I'll be fine
Cause when I die then I die loving you
Loving you, loving you

{You have gray hair now but you're a, a beautiful women
And the years have been good to both of us
We walk slow now but we still have each other
The glue of love is still bonding us together
That is what I remember, do you remember?

-Yellowcard

Reasons to love

Looking On Forever

It's funny how your smell 

is the warmest thing I know.

How your laugh 
is my favorite soundtrack

and your chest 
is the strongest sleeping pill.

I love the way you make me smile

when I couldn't on my own.

I love the way you lift me higher,

just by being around.

I am a better person 

Because I know you're watching.

But when I can not seem to change

You love me just the same.

What would I do 

with out your crazy obsessions?

I would never know the empowering sound of the color yellow,
nor the thrill of the fight among the living and the dead.

Your art colors my art, love,
Your passion feeds my passion.
Without you, my song would sing a different tune.
I guess that isn't a bad thing,
but, oh, what a sweet melody you've given me.

Thank you for the moonlit talks
on those sleepless nights.
You listen to me, like what concerns me
concerns you.
You listen not only with your ears
But with your eyes.
You listen not only for today
But for every tomorrow.

Thank you for giving me your precious time.
I know how much that costs.
But, baby,
If you asked,
 I'd pay you hourly
To have you by my side.

Thank you for understanding
even when I'm trapped in confusion.
You hold my hand
Oh so firmly in your own
and we walk through the fog.
We walk together.
We walk together.

Could I take you back
to the days where love
was a yes or no question?
Lets touch the sky together
on a little old swing-set!
Lets giggle as our swings move in sync
You know what that means!

Come run in the feilds
as fast as we can
and pick the most beautiful dandelion we can find.
Come discover the simple exhilaration
 found in holding hands
and watch me blush
at your kiss on my cheek.

As we grow old lets always grow young.
I want to always find joy in the simple things.
I want to never feel like there isn't anything left to be explored.
And though we know
love may be more complicated
I want to always answer
with a yes or a no.

You are my best friend.
Yes you!
We'll play together
And we'll cry together
But through every up and down

You'll be there.

I'll be there too.

Would you sing me a lullaby tonight?
Is that too much to ask?
Would you tickle my ears with your gentle breath?
If I fell asleep,
would you stay by my side?

Come dance in my dreams,
and play in my thoughts
I want you here with me.

Come watch the sunrise on a thousand futures,
And tell me you see us in each of them.

I could make you happy!
Baby, I know I could make you happy!

I would love you and hold you
Through every darkened day
and every awakened night.

My world would be yours
My hopes,
my dreams,
my days,
my everything,
I give to you.

I love you!

I love you, I love you, I love you!

I know it may sound cheesy
but isn't that what love is?
A bunch of raw feelings
that came from the inside of our heart
pressured into hard deep affections
 and with time
 turned into a molded culturized devotion
that we crave to consume.

And maybe we're young and naiive.
Maybe the more advanced may scoff
and maybe we're two foolish kids
Falling for that foolish game called love.
But maybe
Just maybe
we're not.
Maybe 
Just maybe
we are looking on forever.

So darling, won't you take my hand?
And never let go?
Because
I don't know about you but...

I'm looking on forever.

My Butt Is Freezing Cold

The sun is bright

the sky is blue

the pond is wet

and my butt is cold.

Yeah, maybe the ducks are cool

but all I hear is squaking

slashing up a silent morning.

Yeah the leaves are fun

and crunchable

but all I see are dead tree's.

Mornings are not meant for pretty poems.

They're meant for sleep.

I waited an hour with a freezing butt

all for a bright glare in my face

and still a freezing butt.

Maybe I'm just not feeling it today.

Or maybe I just suck at writing.

Either way

a pretty poem

is not what you'll find on this blog today.

All you get is some pessimistic words

on what should have been beautiful

and a few complaints on how my butt is freezing cold.

Poetry at it's prime

Watch this. Breath the energy in. Live in the glory of his genius lyric. This is poetry at it's prime.

How To Be Happy

• Take a walk every day. You need the fresh air and the time alone whether you know it or not.
• Notice the little things. Don't get so caught up in the red, yellow, and blue that you never see the turquoise, magenta, and the olive.
• Be honest. Be honest with others and with yourself. A lie will never get you anywhere but stuck in the mud. The kind of mud you don't easily get out of.
• Play with children. They know the basic meaning of life that you have forgotten among the details of a busy schedule. 
• Be creative. School will stimulate the left side of your brain very well but that's only half of your brain. Make sure you are stimulating the right side of your brain as much as you can.
• Enjoy being with people. When their gone you'll miss them.
• Enjoy being alone. When you're not you'll miss it.
• Become a good listener. Value the opinions of others even when you don't agree. 
• Show your love for others in all the different ways you can. Verbalize your love, give up your time, give gifts, provide services, and love through physical touch.
• Keep good posture. You'll thank yourself for it in the long run. 
• Go out in the storm and enjoy the rain. Don't let disasters ruin your fun.
• Stay clean. You'll make more friends that way.
• Take a sick day. Sometimes being tough is realizing when you need a break.
• Take lots of pictures. Your life is important and it deserves to be remembered.
• Live in the moment. As a wise turtle once said "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but to day is a gift; that's why we call it the present."
• Prepare for the future. Whether you like it or not it comes and you better be ready for it.
• Love yourself. Might as well! You'll never live a day without you so it might be better to enjoy it rather than hate it.
• Smile. It's simple but true; if you smile you'll find yourself brightening both your life and others.
• Live. Don't survive. Live.

It Lies In The Palm Of My Hands

I have the power. 

It lies in the palm of my hands.

It may be small and seemingly harmless.

But it's not.

It is large and mighty in it's abilities.

With it in my hands, I can alter your life's destiny, I can stop your clock.

With it in my hands, I can inflict pain, I can torture, I can destroy.

I decide what needs to be done.

I decide the end result.

You may beg.

You may compromise.

But I decide.

Is it right or is it wrong to take away your only life?

Am I justified?

There are no voices, no guidance.

I decide if I am right.

Should I wait for assurance of my coming actions or is my duty due now?

Be quick, be sure.

I decide the hour.

The price is large either way.

I cannot leave without a scar.

It's you or me.

It's them or you.

It's time or dignity.

Rarely do both accompany the end.

It's so easy yet so hard.

The simple pressure of my finger seals the deal.

The racing thoughts and feelings of my mind prolongs the kill.

I am either the grim reaper, the Hades, the Yama or the Prometheus, the Vishnu, the Savior of your life.

I have the power to kill you.

Whether or not I deserve it,

Whether or not I have sufficient knowledge,

Whether or not I have sufficient mercy and justice.

I have the power to kill you.

I have the power to not kill you.

I have the power.

And it lies in the palm of my hands.

Hawaiian Language

Wahine- Woman

Kane- Man

Keiki- Child

Tutu- Grandma

Poi- A type of food

Luau- Hawaiian party

Lei- Necklace usually made of flowers

Lanai- Porch

Hula- Hawaiian dance

Hale- House

Ohana- Familiy

Honu- Sea turtle

Alii- Chief

Questions

What does it mean to have faith?

Is it just a word we use on Sunday when the preacher sets us aside?

Is it just an act for people around us so no one is exposed to our true feelings?

Or is it something more?

Can a person believe in something, feel something, hope for something that isn't there?

When faced by the jaws of reason can you block out the dark and see a light that doesn't exist?

Or does it?

Faith is such a wishy washy word.

Or at least the thing we have faith in is always unsure.

So why is it so desirable to have faith when statistics almost entirely prove you wrong?

It seems that human nature grasps the rope of uncertainty in hopes that the pain and horror of life is not all.

It seems that human nature craves a deeper meaning, a higher being, a celestial state to strive for and to strive to be.

Is it better to hold to to that invisible rope that leads to an unknown world beyond who we are?

Or is it better to face and accept the numbers and the science presented on earth?

Is it better to succom to the popular opinion or hope for a better solution?

Do people ever really have faith or is there always a certain nagging in the back of the mind reminding them that the odds are not in their favor?

Questions

Questions

Where are the answers?

Questions 

Questions

Questions

Brick Monuments

Pretty cool eh?

Reason's Why I Hate Being Alone

• It is terribly boring.
• I talk to myself more... 
• I tend to eat more so as to fill the silence with my chewing.
• Every sound is terrifying. 
• The door is never completely shut when I pee.
• Cleaning feels pointless and unrewarding.
• I make the cat stay inside to keep me company.
• No one motivates me to get my work done.
• There is no one to bug... so I start bugging myself.
• I count to three when turning off the lights at night, then I race the devils to my bed.
• There is no one to say goodnight to... except myself...
• When I accomplish something there is no one to celebrate with.
• I tend to play games with myself... and then quit early because it's boring.
• There is no one to talk to when I'm stressed.
• There is no one to talk to when I'm scared.
• There is no one to talk to when I'm angry.
• There is no one to talk to when I'm sad.
• There is no one to talk to when I'm happy.
• There is no one to talk to when I'm excited.
• There is no one to worry about me when I leave the house.
• There is no one to interrogate my dates.
• There is no one.
• It is extremely lonely.

Today I Woke Up Loving You

Today, I woke up to the smell of your shirt dancing in my mind,

to the sound of your voice tickling my ears,

to your breath warming my veins,

to your touch,

your caress,

your hands in mine.

I woke up to the realization that I had left my heart in your pocket.

Your eyes

masters of persuasion,

allured me into your embrace

and I don't think I ever left.

I woke up to the painful sores on my shoulder that your burning tears had left.

Your trembling lips still trembling on mine.

Your words written on my skin "Don't go"

I never meant to hurt you.

I never meant to hurt you.

I woke up to the once confusing feelings 

even more perplexing than before.

My intentions were to make things right.

My desire was to love you enough to sacrifice.

But now I have woken up to a rope tied around my waist.

It's connected to your waist, you know.

I woke up to the ever growing appetite to laugh with my best friend,

To feel that strange connection as our words fill holes in life's massive puzzle,

To enjoy the silent energy of sitting side by side.

I woke up to a fairytale coming true,

And I shouted to the world, "Walt Disney had it right!"

My prince was real and a prince he was, 

A prince of the kingdom of my love.

I woke up to a promise.

a promise to always stand beside you,

and to sit next to you,

and to lie forever in your arms.

Darling,

Honey,

Sweetheart,

My heart,

My life,

My everything,

Today, I woke up loving you.

Being Human Is Having Writers Block

Being human is having writers block.

When you want to write, your brain doesn't.

All those beautiful quotes you once read,

All those times something meaningful occurred in your life,

All the love, hate, pain, joy and every intensive feeling you've ever felt

Suddenly is locked away in a safe, fifty floors down from the creative team of your mind.

All processing units have shut down, the lights are out,

no one knows where the key is to this safe,

and all the while the boss is yelling at each employee

trying to find out which idiot

decided to lock up the only memories and beautiful inspirations

that make up what this body lives and works for.

Trying with every ounce of effort to scrounge up any words worth repeating,

any thought or picture with at least a fraction of sentiment.

Papers are flying,

all the neuro cell employee's are bouncing off of each other in a panicked frenzy,

hoping that the big boss doesn't decide they're worthless;

never to give them a job again.

The brain is a mess, and you feel it.

It hurts.

All because whatever you are trying to say is on FREAKING LOCK DOWN.

Being human is having writers block.

Because...

Well don't ask me. I'm having writers block.

What is love?

I fell hard last night.

I fell into a mind and body paralysis. 

Heart racing.

Skin tingling.

Dizziness.

Breathlessness.

Dream-like.

Bliss.

All because of a kiss.

Was that love?

I felt jealousy once.

Blood boiling.

Mind racing.

Door slamming.

Tear inevitability.

Blindness.

Sharp pain.

Anxiety.

Resentment.

Was that love?

I've experienced fear.

Fear of losing.

Fear of leaving.

Fear of staying.

Fear of hurting.

Fear of being alone.

Fear of choosing wrong.

Fear of feeling.

Fear of loving.

Was that love?

I've felt joy.

Warm.

Comfortable.

Judgment free.

Safe.

Important.

Beautiful.

Adornment.

Peaceful.

Is that love?

 I've spent time with excitement.

Playfulness.

Childish games.

Energy rushes.

Laughter.

Singing.

Dancing.

Craziness.

Wild dreams.

Adventure.

In the moment moments.

Is that love?

Are my feelings only child's play? Are they note worthy, or should I disregard them? 

They're strong.

They're real.

But are they LOVE?

If not then...

What is love?

A Choice

Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.

~Gayle Forman

Any chick flick watcher, romance reader, or love seeker knows this quote from the famous novel and motion picture "If I stay". 

I am all three of those. 

Love is my passion and intrigue and motivation. It colors the dull life of reality with magic and light. 

So, of course, I fell in love with the beautiful story about a girl with a great life, great family, and great future, who fell in love. 

But, in the perfection of life, tragedy struck and this girl was left with the decision of whether to stay on earth, or let her body die. 

After love drew me in, the lesson's taught in the depths of her tragedy held me captive.

Among many notable quotes from if I stay, this one about choices in particular caught my attention.
I think most everyone can relate to this:
whether by the choice of someone cutting you off in the road and how that changed your day,
or the choice of parents divorcing
and how that changed your life. 
For me I was sexually abused by family members multiple times growing up.
It was like a volcano that never erupted, just oozed out and slowly obliterated all the beauty around it.

It affected my self esteem,

the way I treated others,

the way I viewed men,

the literal pain caused by a certain touch by anyone.

I was depressed at school so that I could have enough energy to face and help my family at home.

I read books 24/7 so that I wouldn't have to face smiling friends and act like I was happy too.

It was hard. 

The choice my family member decided to make sculpted who I am.
But don't worry! It wasn't all bad. I learned a lot.

I learned to love everyone no matter who they are or how they seem to be.

I learned to look at life in a broader perspective, to keep optimistic views even in the lowliest of situations.

I slowly learned how to break down walls and push through pain until I got to the other side of a very dark tunnel.

I learned how to help others out of their own dark tunnels as well.

I started to talk to people and make friends and I learned to love love.

And slowly, (very slowly) that obliterating volcanic eruption was made into a magnificent island.

Trust me it wasn't easy and it was very slow.

But I wanted to change so bad. And you know what? 

I'm happy now! 

And I wouldn't change any of that for the world.

Storytime :)

"I'll find it!" cried Horton. "I'll find it or bust! I SHALL find my friends on my small speck of dust!" 

We've GOT to make noises in greater amounts! So, open your mouth, lad! For every voice counts!

~ Dr. Seuss from Horton Hears A Who

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

~A.A. Milne from Winnie the Pooh

"You won't let me do anything I want to do," I said. "I guess I'll run away."

That's how mad I was. 

So I packed a wagon of my favorite toys. And I packed a bag of cookies to eat on the way. Then I walked out the front door. But my friends were going to the park to play ball. "Can you come, too?" they asked. 

And Mom said I could.

I'll run away tomorrow if I'm still so mad.

~Mercer Mayer from I Was So Mad

I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.

~Robert Munsch from Love You Forever

I crept downstairs so quietly that no one even stirred... and peeked outside the window to see what i might have heard. And then i saw it standing there, just waiting by my door- a fifteen foot giraffe, where no giraffe had been before.

~Mary Jane Flynn from I Though I Heard a Tiger Roar

I guess it's time for bed now. The stars are twinkling bright. We had lots of fun today. Goodnight, sweet dreams, sleep tight.

~Donna Cooner from Bedtime for Baby Bop

"You must be a friend," said Corduroy. "I've always wanted a friend."

"Me too!" said Lisa, and gave him a big hug.

~Don Treeman from Corduroy

Oh! They would put me in the zoo, if they could see what I can do.

~Robert Lopshire from Put Me in the Zoo

Good morning, sunshine! The earth says "Hello!". Go look out your window at the bright morning snow. It glistens and sparkles, what a beautiful sight! A sheet covering the earth, miles of white.

~Arethusa Esin from Good Morning, Sunshine

Becoming Inspiration

Hi! My name is Arethusa Esin. 

Well, it isn't really but for now that is the name you will know me by.

I know what you’re thinking “What kind of name is that?”. 

And, even if you’re not thinking that, I will feel a lot better about myself if I explain my decision in using this name. 

My email username is becominginspiration. Random, I know, but just wait I have a point!

This is my goal.

I have a desire to become important to someone. 

To make a difference in another’s life.

To create something so beautiful that it inspires one or two or many to rise above challenges and make their lives and other lives better. 

So, in my quest to find a name for myself, I looked up baby names that meant something close to becoming inspiration. 

I stumbled across Arethusa which means “to become excellent” and Esin which means “Inspiration”. While it sounds really cool, I chose the name mainly to remind myself to strive to become excellent and inspirational.

So this is my blog. 

A mess of words and idea’s coming together in a hopefully influential manner. 

I am no writer unfortunately, but I am a thinker. 

My mind is a beautifully large canvas that adds more detail and color and magnificence as I grow older and experience more of life. 

Getting the true art of what I feel and see down on paper is the hard part. 

So, please don’t expect Shakespeare from me. 

You won’t get it.

What I can promise you though, is that you will get the best representation of my world through the tools of words.

And trust me, it will be worth your time.